Confuse

Im confuse now
my mum dun accept him
again
found out by my mum
arghh
again again n again
d problems come to me again
i really hate it
i really hope my mum can accept it
but til d end
the result stil d same
wn d day wil reach?
im stil waiting for it..
*pray*
i had been thinking wan to giv up
nt to continue ad
but whn i think bout his feeling
i pull it back
i dun wn to hurt him again
i dun wan d same things happen twice
but whn im protecting our relationship
im having lot of pressure from my family
i hav to b careful of it
im hurting my mum
ah~~
help me
i wan to b a good gal for my mum
i dun wan to make her feel dissapointed wit me
but now
wad i do is dissapointing her
should i continue or giv up
im stil considering
i hate myself for cant hav a strong situation/ decision
i hate myself for how i behave
i hate myself for everything